Single Mom: The Price For Safety and Freedom
July 25, 2008
Making the decision to free one self from an abusive relationship takes lots of consideration, courage, determination, strength and support. And that is only the first step.
This week I will be talking with a single mom who has shown much courage and determination as she takes responsibility for the safety and freedom of her life.
As this single mom journeys on, where does she turn to for support and resources? How does she manages the stress, fears, uncertainty and the sense of lost and aloneness? How does she deal with the day to day challenges that comes from child care to housing to finance to safety to perhaps considering having a father figure for the child in the future?
When you join us for the tele-seminar this week I would like you to participate in the call by noting what pressing needs this single mom has and what practical support she needs right now.
Go ahead and click here for more information on this free online live tele-seminar. Talk to you soon.
Single Moms, Bring Your Motherly Qualities To Work!
July 21, 2008
Women executives stand out from their male counterpart in the work place; their mistakes are easily noticed and they are often held to a higher performance standard, whether we want to admit that or not.
With the historical experience of the "glass ceiling", women executives have to consistently out-perform expectations put upon them and they work harder to prove themselves. This often results in women having to give 150% effort just to “hold her own in the male dominated workplace”.
Women are often overly concerned with perfectionism. They bury themselves in work and lose connection with others. With the combined work and home responsibilities competing for their time, energy and resources, many mothers chose to neglect important area of their lives such as friends, hobbies, enriching activities, their passion and even their own health and wellness in favor of work-related goals.
There is little time for socializing, networking and they are exhausted, stressed and burnout when they return home to take on another role to care for the family. In the light of this, how do executive mothers find the right balance between work and caring for the children? And what would it be like for the single mothers?
Many women executives often live compartmentalized, incongruent lives, adopting a set of man’s rules and values at work and another set at homes where they put on their feminine, womanly, motherly instincts and values when they care for the family. This results in an inconsistency and in-authenticity in personality that wages war within.v I like to think that women can live congruent, integrated lives where their leadership styles and personalities at work and at home can be in alignment. By that I mean that they can be authentic and yet be effective in the corporate world leveraging on their feminine qualities.
I believe that we are holistic beings and our work selves and our real selves, our professional and personal lives are not separate entities. Congruence is necessary for effective work and that congruence can be achieved when people are able to be themselves and not operate through a personal façade.
Success is better ensured when there is alignment and balance between personal lives and one’s role in the organization’s environment. The first piece of good news I have for all executive working mothers is this: women leadership style is gaining acceptance.
Emerging evidences show that woman leadership is effective, gaining results, acceptance and success. Studies show that corporates with larger percentages of women on the executive leadership team gain return 35% higher than those with fewer women in the leadership (Coughlin, Wingard, & Hollihan, 2005).
The old style of leadership which is more aggressive, autocratic, top down, directional and closed is giving way to a new generation of women who “bring to business the influence mode of leadership which is more consensus-building, caring, open and inclusive”.
Women make intuition decisions and are very comfortable with having to persuade, encourage and motivate. Grzelakowski, in her book “Mother Leads Best: 50 Women Who Are Changing the Way Organizations Define Leadership” goes so far as to say that “motherhood prepares women for top positions”.
This is a very interesting book that I would encourage you to read. I am of the view that woman can shape corporate leadership with their own unique feminine qualities and instincts. I invite all you working mothers to release yourselves from the need to conform to the male leadership style and live in alignment with who you are at work and at home.
Mothers, you can bring your wonderful “feminine principles” and leadership to work and excel personally and professionally!
Solo Mama Land?
July 16, 2008
In 1996, 25% of children in US lived with a single parent, about 80% of these are led by single mothers. Of this group, the most common consists of divorced/separated mothers (~ 60%), followed by never-married mothers (~ 25%) and then there is the rising trend of single mothers by choice.
This is a group of financially independent women, who has the financial autonomy to consider mothering alone, with the education and maturity to seek single motherhood through adoption or artificial insemination. It is estimated that at least 25% of the 125,000 adoptions in the US each year involve single women.
Many single mothers I am in contact with express that they feel isolated and alone, overstressed, over worked and lacking in support as they seek to make the most of this challenging situation. Many work as solo entreprenuers from home.
They are looking for encouragement, an understanding ear, and concrete support structures that will help them reduce the level of stress and make positive changes and in their daily lives as they perform the juggling act for a thousand things needing attention at the same time!
The scene in the UK is not that much different. UK has one of the highest proportions of single parent families in the EU. Half of all co-habiting couples who have children split up by the time the child is five. BBC three launched a radical experiment last year in Pramface Mansion that sees 10 single mothers and their children live together for over a month for support and community life.
I want to take it a step further and start having live tele-seminars for single mamas all over the world to come together on a regular basis and share of your challenges in the various aspects of real world life. And together in this small community, we will seek to offer support and help as you move forward with the mammoth task of raising your lovely children in solo land.
Group coaching will be offered and it is my hope and desire that you will find the vision and strength to live this very challenging yet rewarding life. This will be a place where you will find empathy, support, appreciation, and empowerment; judgment will be suspended.
We will be more interested to want to move forward towards a brighter and more fulfilling life and you will be able to bounce off ideas on the myriads of questions such as how to raise confident, happy healthy children who are self-assured, how to balance work and family life, how to maintain healthy life style, and whether or not you would want to consider a relationship somewhere down the line etc.
Although we do not offer counseling nor legal advice, I am sure you will find this group coaching/tele-seminar helpful in awakening your inner potential to rise up to the challenges of your very special journey of solo "mama"ing Young or mature, and no matter how you arrived at solo mama land, I look forward to welcoming you to the soft launch of my secured and private solo mama land.
You are more than welcome to extend invitation to anyone who may find this helpful. Opt in on the "Event" tab and I will talk to you next Monday at 10:00am Eastern Time! And in case you cannot make it to this one, watch out for other upcoming tele-seminars in the month of July and August.
So come on in and check it out; my co-host and I will be welcoming you warmly this coming Monday. Talk to you on the web soon!
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