Pressure Means You Are Ready
July 26, 2009
If you have been joining me in my audio recordings and free tele-seminars, you would have noticed this sentence.
Pressures are tools that help you grow. Pressures around you signify that you are ready for the next phase of development. It did not happen to you before – you were not ready. It does not happen to others – they are not ready. It happens to you – because it is ripe and appropriate for you now.
Oct 2007, I was told that our entire department will be closed off due to a change in business strategy. All 30 in the department will need to be redeployed or out-placed. That was the third time I have the same experience in my corporate life. Sounds familiar?
I knew there was a plan for me in this. Something tells me that chaos preceeds growth and development.
There were moments of uncertainty and concerns – I had commitments and mortgages to pay and a lifestyle to maintain. But something tells me this is the time to come out and do what I want to do instead of hitting another rat-race.
I turned my backs to the corporate world and went full time into my professional coach training and business.
I had the fears, the uncertainties and the worries. But I also knew that this is something I love and want to try and explore. I doubted my ability and lack of experience, and I went ahead and confronted my fear, my worries, my doubts. I also hired myself a trusted personal business coach to help me navigate the unchartered waters.
I had not done business sales (although I was an evangelist and was in pre sales in a former employment), I had not done marketing, neither have I built any business on my own. So this was a brand new experience for me.
I went from doing cold calls to scheduling appointments, making presentations and negotiations to closing. I signed up for sales workshops and went through training and drills and I read books after books. I asked for advice from anyone and everyone. I followed instructions and used every piece of proven tip.
From a shy, introvert and conservative person, I evolved into someone quite good at sales. I am even amazed at what I have done given the circumstances. I out performed the target I set for myself, I out performed limitations set on me. I did speeches, conducted workshops and seminars. I developed programs and produced informational products.
Has it been easy?
No, not at all.
There was no blood, but certainly lots of sweat and tears.
Have I grown?
Sure have. So much.
Today, people ask me what my secrets are. They invite me to join them in their negotiation calls.
I honestly do not know what my secrets are. Perhaps one day I will sit down, analyse it and pen these down and make a course out of it. What I do know is this: whenever pressure or obstacles are in your way - it only means that you are ready for the challenge and that you are moving in the right direction.
Today I am working from home and I am able to maintain the same life style as when I was in corporate world.
Would I be where I am today had pressures not appeared?
No way. I would have stayed in my comfort zone.
Think of it this way, if you are not in motion, there will be no obstacles. There will be no distractions – because you are not in motion. There is no growth, no life, no momentum.
The minute you have a goal and are moving towards it, that's when distractions and obstacles will appear out of no where.
So, feeling the heat and the pressure?
They are a sign that you are ready that you are in motion, growing, developing, moving onto the next phase.
Do not shun them
Embrace them.
Welcome them
Triumph over them.
You CAN, because you will not be tempted beyond what you are able to bear.
But make no mistake, it will so stretch you. You will feel the tension. But embrace it, face it and make use of it.
After you crossed the line of transformation, you become a newer, stronger, bigger, better you. Perturbation has just transformed you into a work of art.
So fear not.
Shun not your pressures.
Learn instead to manage them and you will live a successful, fulfilling life.
Feel free to share your story with me, I love to hear from you. And if you want to learn how to handle your daily pressure, check this out.
Leave a comment, share your thoughts
Divide And Succeed
July 21, 2009
I have been tweeting about my 30-Day challenge and was recently asked what that is. I then realize it has been some time since I last blogged!
OK, as some of you may know, I am part of a group that meets regularly, in fact weekly so I get to discuss my learning and challenges and get some strategies and support for moving forward. This is a time I look forward to, one of my "self-care" time.
During one of the calls a challenge was put forth that we will take up a project and use a 30-Day period to work on it. The rest of us in the group will support as we share our progress.
I jumped at the idea as I will not only have a support structure, I will also have master-minding from all these people who are also committed to my project. They will help me bring out the best in my project.
My first challenge was to come up with a part of a presentation, to practice it and present it to the group. The preparation was not too hard, the challenging bit was to present it in front of others. But because it is a supportive group, I soon forgot about nervousness and just got on with the presentation.
And I got instant, live feedback on how I can improve, in terms of the structure, the language to use, the tone, the ideas to implement and what to look out for and avoid. It was as though I had just paid to have a personal coach coach me on public speaking. It was awesome. Great tips that I used for my drill to practice, practice and practice before the real presentation. You can imagine how much confidence that built and I am so glad I took that project up.
And since then I was "challenged" again, to pick one project every 30 days and work at it. At first brush it sounds daunting but when I think of the result I will get – 12 projects at the end of a year, I could not say no to this request.
How many of us realize how we use our time? Before we know it, it’s another year, and another year. I cannot believe that I left Hong Kong 12 years ago! Yet that is how much time has passed. Looking back, I wish I had done more, yet I can but work on the present for the future.
Now if I don’t mark my days carefully, more days will pass by without me knowing. And since I feel I have work to do here, I am thankful that I have an accountability structure to help me move towards my goal. In fact, I know have an accountability buddy to keep me on track – that is apart from my coach! It keeps me on track.
If you feel inspired to do the same then pick a doable project and concentrate on it for 30 Days. It will help you break down gigantic tasks into smaller chunks that you can work on. It is one of the techniques I teach to manage overwhelm too.
Work on the current step, and not look at the great leap forward. And if you are faithful with your little steps, you will be moving towards your goal without you realizing. And the sense of stress will not be there – because your focus is on getting the current piece done, not on worrying about how to get to the insurmountable goal.
You are most welcome to share your project with me and we will encourage each other. Feel free to share your thoughts and leave your comments below. And if you like to have your own accountability partner and support system, feel free to join on here. It does wonders to your progress.
21st Century 3G Families
July 16, 2009
A friend of mine recently joined the face book bandwagon and asked me how this thing works. I said to ask her son to configure it for her with privacy settings. That sets off a whole conversation on the young and budding son …
The son, apparently will come home really late and probably not want to configure this for mom nor spend time explaining how this thing work.
I am in the midst of preparing for 2 presentation this weekend. One on building relationship between parents and children. And the other on how to live in a 3G family – in an Asian setting.
3G family refers to three generations living together under one roof.
What picture comes up as I mention that?
How so you feel?
A little excited maybe?
One can imagine the challenges of maintaining peace and sanity in such a tension packed enviroement. There are relationships issues on all sides; between the children and parents, the in-laws staying together on long term, the grandchildren and the grand-parents. And depending on your position in the family, this can be challenging to different degrees.
Getting into each other’s way will be a big issue. One needs space, personal space, a rather foreign concept to Asian culture where everything is communal. Mental, spiritual and physical space is needful. And think of the combination of relationship issues here: parent and child, husband and wife, in laws, grand parents – that can be a bundle of joy or headache!
How do you maintain space?
You want to set a boundary. You want to let others know what is ok and within limits and what is not. Others will not know without you articulating it. Although we assume that others "should know better" and honestly we are just afraid to voice it out at times. But what is the cost of not doing that? You end up feeling invalidated, weakened when boundaries are crossed over.
You need to define and hold the space for yourself. You will let others know if and when they crossed the line. Although you will get into each other’s way physically often enough, the emotional pressure is the hardest to manage. Find your voice, no matter how small.
Do you sometimes feel guilty for standing your ground and holding your space? Some characters are just stronger and all are at differnt stages of growth. Be a support to others and you want to protect and take care of yourself.
You want to respect others’ boundaries too. When they say no, you do not insist, or proceed. You embrace diversity in beliefs, in ways of handling daily issues, or differences in character and mentality. That I think is the basis of a strong family bond. Your give preference to others.
Love is too loosely used a word, I like to see it from the angle of respect for each other. Putting the other before you, in thoughts and words and deeds. I have heard so many conversations where one party dominated the entire course without wanting to listen. It is so draining and sets up a downward spiral.
What would be the picture if we each learn to take a step back and listen, instead of being too eager to advise and teach?
So it is great to cherish your family while you have them. It is also good to be able to stay together if you want to experience a 21st century 3G family. However, do be mindful to respect others and in setting up and observing boudaries, yours and others. You want to set yourself up for success and not stress, protect and take care of your family
I wonder how you manage these family tensions. Would that be something you like to see more of here?
So as I sign off and get back to work on my presentation for this weekend remember that you need to respect yourself before you can respect others. So set your boundaries and then cherish the time you get to live together. Focusing on the positives and good things will also help, that always reliefs stress.
Leave your comment, share your thought.
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