Secret To Living Happy And Motivated – Support Your Core Values
April 21, 2010
Core Values And Vision
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The past weeks we have looked at dreaming big and achieving meaningful goals. We have also looked at two different exercises that will help us identify our personal and fundamental values in life.
We do that in order to have more clarity on what we are motivated by. We can then align our decisions and actions to serve these values and live inspired and energized.
Are you serving your core values?
If you have been following my posts, you would have identified your top 3 values by now. Are you ready for the next exercise? This one will show you whether or not you are serving your core values.
Let’s look at your top 3 values and use "time spent" as one criteria to give us a sense of where you are with these values. What amount of time would you want to spend on activities that support each of your core values?
Then based on the past week, chart down the amount of time you actually did spend on each of these values.
For example if family, work and health are your top 3 core values, then based on the last week, how much of your waking time was spent in supporting these top 3 values?
We can take "Family Time" to be time spent being with your family members, doing things together, having discussion or sharing etc.
"Work Time" would include time you take to commute, time spent on the phone or computer doing work after you get home, time spent away from home on work trips etc.
Likewise, you can also decide the "Health" bucket to include time spent on doing groceries for your healthy food, preparing for meals, washing up, time at the gym or time spent meditating etc.
Now compare the two sets of time and see what trend you see.
If the results come as a surprise to you, then what changes would you like to implement?
Let Your Core Values Be Your Compass
Knowing you values is great; yet these values do not show up in your life and are not realized unless you take actions and make corresponding decisions that support them. Having "love" on top of the list is a good start. Not acting on it or working it out will soon takes its toll; this will generate a feeling of guilt. The disconnect between your value and your life will cause the sense of stress.
We do not want to drift through life reacting to the daily “urgent” matters and be caught up in crisis management mode. We do not want to live in the stress zone where life is spent reacting to what is presented to us by the environment. We want to be in control and live with purpose and joy.
I hope you will take a little time to go through these exercises. The clearer your values and the more willing you are in serving these values the more inspired and purposeful will be your life. Let your values be your compass for making everyday decisions.
If you are stressed out or lethargic emotionally and mentally, you can use these short exercise to help you understand how to get back on track and live an inspired, energized and refreshing life again. If you need a little support and coaching, just contact me here. Alternatively, all these tips are discussed at great length in the home study course.
By the way, did you notice how many birds there are on the colorful tree? They somehow manage to "be" together in their colorful world. I wonder how our birds are doing on our tree of happiness …
Seeking Out Your Core Values And How That Relates To Your Productivity And Stress
April 15, 2010
In our last post, we did a quick and simple exercise to help us identify our core values. We also saw how this helps us gain some initial awareness of why we may not feel as fulfilled or happy with our current situations at work and at home.
If you have not done the exercise, you can do it here.
That was a simplistic and quick exercise to help you get past the sense of overwhelm when asked to do overly complicated exercises in identifying core value. I recommend that you do this exercise on a regular basis as you will adopt slight shifts in your core values due to new perspectives and life experiences.
Why do we do a Core Value Analysis?
This self awareness is important so we understand ourselves better. Not knowing our values is like not knowing why we do what we do. Why do I say that?
Although most of us aren't fully aware of our core values, these underlying values guide our decision-making process from the food we eat to the actions we take; from the jobs and friends/partners we choose to the level of honor we exhibit in tough situations. They help establish our goals and give us the sense of purpose; they are the unwritten criteria for our daily actions and choices.
Every action we take or not take with regards to time management, relationship and health can be traced back to our core values. Whether you realize it or not, your life is guided by your set of underlying fundamental core values.
What are Core Values?
They are sometimes described as ethics, virtues, beliefs, guiding principles, ideals and your moral compass and code of honor for which to live life. We formed these values while growing up; we also adopt new values as we go through life.
How do we identify our Core Values?
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Accessibility
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Efficiency
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Integrity
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Practical
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Accountability
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Empowerment
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Joy
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Prestige
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Achievement
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Encouraging
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Justice
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Principled
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Adventure
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Equality
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Kindness
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Privacy
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Altruism
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Fairness
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Learning
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Purity
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Authenticity
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Fame
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Love
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Purposeful
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Authority
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Family
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Loyalty
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Reliability
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Balance
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Fitness
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Making A Difference
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Responsibility
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Belonging
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Flexible
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Merciful
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Simplicity
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Challenge
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Forgiving
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Nurturing
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Spirituality
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Cleanliness
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Freedom
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Openness
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Status
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Cleanliness
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Friendship
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Order
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Success
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Collaboration
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Generous
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Organized
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Teamwork
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Commitment
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Goodness
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Passion
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Tradition
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Community
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Gratitude
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Patience
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Trust
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Competence
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Happiness
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Peace
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Trusting
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Courageous
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Health
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Perfection
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Truth
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Creativity
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Honesty
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Persistence
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Understanding
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Discipline
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Humor
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Pleasure
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Unselfish
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Disciplined
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Inclusiveness
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Popularity
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Wealth
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Diversity
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Influence
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Power
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Wisdom
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This is not a comprehensive list, so feel free to add in any that is not here.
For a more comprehensive approach to identifying your core values, just follow the steps below: (If you have done the 2-Questions exercise above, it will help you answer the following).
1 From the table above, choose your top 7 core values
2 Define what they mean to you in your own words
3 On a scale of 1 to 10 describe how aligned you are with your top 7 values
4 Choose and Prioritize your top 3 that you want to work on.
Now you know what areas of your life you want to pay more attention to.
The challenge comes when there is a conflict among the different core values.
And this happens all the time; working mothers know this very well for they need to juggle work/career while taking care of children, spouse/partner, parents, in laws, and community. Often there is no space left for the self.
What would you do when there arise a conflict?
Say a conflict of values between loyalty and justice?
Between time and money?
Between self and others?
Not an easy question to tackle.
Most people find it helpful to work these work with a coach or mentor.
Surely the answer lies not in ignoring, nor denying.
Compromising is not going to be helpful either in the long run.
Most tension and pressure can be traced to these conflicts. The more we understand our top values and the dynamics of how they work within us, the better we can handle that conflict and thus our stress levels, productivity and sense of fulfilment.
What would you do in the light of such conflicts?
How Do I Know What My Core Values Are?
April 6, 2010
We talked about having visions aligned with your value.
So how does one know her core values?
Great question. Time for another simple exercise together.
Who is your hero (idol)?
Don't think too much, just name the first person that comes to mind.
Next, ask "What do you admire about him/her?"
Is it her work? Her character? Her contribution?
Again don't think too much, just write it down.
There on your piece of paper you have identified the traits or characters that you admire and and therefore value. These are your core values that you subconsciously cherish and give weight to.
Now you can do this exercise again and ask "Who else do you admire and why?"
Go through and notice if there is any noticeable trend. When you see a few characters or traits recurring, you now know with more certainty the things that you fundamentally value and would like to have in your life (or at least to pursue).
Simple exercise, right? Yet it provides great insight. Now that you know why you admire your hero, I have another question for you. How is knowing your value going to help you in living a more fulfilling and stress-free life?
Check and see if what you do daily are in alignment with developing the values you have just identified. Things you do at work and at home. If your life constantly requires you to be or do things that are contrary to the values you cherish, you are going to suffer tension and pressure pulling you in different direction.
Next step: as we build ourselves up on our core values we want to also look for ways to pass on these values to others around us. When we add value to others' lives, we are going to find strength and vitality to live through tiring and challenging days. There will be a joy in our steps even as we go through trials because we know that the present discipline is worthy of the future prize. Our vision will strengthen us to work towards our dream.
However, when there is a conflict between your values and your work or life; you are going to dislike, even resent the things you do and sometimes the person that you are. There will be frustration and pressure and you are not going to be happy.
So make use of today's exercise and find out a little more about the things that you value in your life. Whether it is a character trait, a thing or a state of being.
Then go live a life of purpose and joy, doing what you like and are passionate about. And any challenges that come your way will not be perceived as dead ends. Instead, you will find the key to overcome the apparent challenges. Try it and experience the fulfillment of living in alignment with your core values.
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