Dating For Single Moms – 7 Tips to Consider Before You Dip Your Toes in Choppy Waters

Single moms often struggle with whether they should date and if so when.  You are also concerned with how this would affect your family structure and dynamics.  You want to fall in love (again) yet you are afraid to dip your toes in choppy waters.  I have some tips here that I would like you to consider before you embark on this venture.

Tip 1 – Know What You Are Looking For – Do you want to have a good time with another person sharing activities together?  Or are you looking for a relationship?  Or perhaps a longer term commitment?  What is your definition of dating?  And what qualities, talents, skills, character, and value system do you want your date to have?

Tip 2 – You Decide When – Are you ready emotionally, spiritually and physically?  Have your self esteem healed?  Do you invest time and energy in taking care of yourself?  If not, can you afford the time and energy it takes to nurture a long term relationship? You do know that you are responsible for every step you take.

Tip 3 – You Define The Boundaries – Have a clear idea of what you will or will not do together on these dates.  Maintain a strong sense of self-worth and esteem; discuss expectations and boundaries at the outset so there are no surprises.  It is a good idea to keep the dating out of sight of the children. And there is no rush to load your date with family responsibilities.

Tip 4 – You Give It A Try – Building and maintaining a relationship takes nurturing and care, it takes consistent conversations and emotional connection to build a reliable and sustainable relationship.  Do you resonant with his core values and outlook in life?  Observe and see if the relationship makes you a stronger or more dependent person.

Tip 5 – You Enjoy The Moment – Let go of any guilt feeling when you are enjoying the time spent with your date.  Be in the moment and enjoy it for what it is.  If you find your mind constantly wondering off to past moments with your ex husband or wanting to call the baby sitter, then you are not ready for another relationship.

Tip 6 – You Give Yourself Permission To Attend To Your Own Needs – This is not to say that your children are not your priority.  Rather if your needs are not nurtured and fulfilled, you are not likely to be able to care for others in a healthy way.  Balance is the key here so practise self care as you care for those around you.

Tip 7 – Adjustments Take Courage And Time – If at any point you feel that this is not the right relationship to pursue, have the courage and the grace to opt out.  However, know that any change and adjustment will takes trust, courage and time.  Take time to seek out your inner wisdom and see what is the best course of action for you and your children.

Review these tips and assess where you are.  If you are not ready, don’t rush it.  If you are, implement these tips.  And leave us your comments, share with other single moms of your experience.  And Find a community and get supported.

For real time, online, safe and supportive community with group coaching facilities,  click here to join Louisa and you will be connected to single moms all over the world by phone.

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