In my recent conversations and life coaching sessions within the virtual community of online friends and clients, the topics seem to revolve around stress caused by relationships in the family. It seems that the women are in general more aware of the need to address issues of relationships, at least in the Asian community and culture.
Stress and tension exist between parents and children, whether they are teenagers or youth. Aging parents continue to experience tension in their relationship with their mature children as they now have assumed the role of parents.
And relationship issues are also complicated as more families are choosing to stay together especially with increasing foreclosures taking place in this economic climate. It is not unusual to find three generations under the one roof.
Men And Women Stressed By Different Stressors. While the men are feeling the heat with increasing performance demand at work in this economic condition the women seem to be more affected by relationships issue perhaps also indirectly brought about by the current economic situation.
If it is not relationship with the family then it is with the employer or clients or business partners. This network of people in their lives seem to give the by-product of potential angst!
People Process Their Stress Differently. While some chose to internalize the tensions and emotions others are avoiding the issue, pretending that they do not exist. Yet others want to confront the issues but they do not know how or where to start.
Women Seek Support To Process Emotional Stress – The good old fight or flight response still holds true today. Yet there is another theory that now suggests that women tend to deal with stress by taking care of their loved ones, or by leaning on a friend or family member for support.
The more stress they are, they more they want to give and care for others. Dr Shelly E. Taylor, PhD, a distinguished professor in the department of psychology at the University of California, Los Angeles calls this the “tend and befriend” syndrome.
Dr Taylor also reports that women often seek support to talk out the emotional experience, to process what is happening and what might be done. Being able to connect and articulate their thoughts seems to help them relief themselves of accumulated tension within.
Sometime being listened to in itself helps them process the emotions and they are able to take on more after the sharing session. The support and understanding of the community brings a sense of belonging which helps support women as they go through life's challenges.
Men seem to deal with stress in a different way. They tend to process their stress by themselves. They would watch a TV program or go for a game of football to get the stress out of the system. That exercise helps create a fresh perspective for them to face the challenges again.
Whatever way we choose to use, you want to have those stress under control. If left unchecked, the internalizing of these stress will lead to health issues such as lethargy, insomnia, high blood pressure exhaustion and ill health.
So what stresses you out?
How do you intend to deal with that?