I have been thinking of the word single lately especially now that I am meeting single moms. What comes to mind when we think of the word single?
Dictionary has it as: 1) one in number 2) unaccompanied, on its own 3) distinguish and distinct 4) set apart and separate from others 5) wholly attentive
Nothing here refers to one as being weak, incomplete or lacking. Instead what I see is one of distinction, or being set apart and standing out. In fact in the Chinese language, “one” certainly has the meaning of being focus and wholly attentive.
We have a saying in the Chinese language that directly transliterates from the word “One Heart and One Mind”. In simple Chinese language that means “being single heartedly focus with laser sharp intention – that’s how powerful it can be! That can shed much new light on the word “single”.
"One" is a beautiful word. It is simple, it is whole, complete, distinguished and it stands out, it fact it can also mean the first. And when the one person who is complete and whole is complemented with another whole and complete person, we get great synergies, dynamics and camaraderie. However, if the one is incomplete and seeks for completion in the other person, then I am afraid there will be imbalance and the entire structure will not be strong.
My message to the single moms is that you are complete, you are whole, you can be powerful and focus and intent in your purpose of raising a healthy and happy family. There will be barriers and road blocks and challenges yet, with your powerful intent and focus, you will be surprised at how far you can go. And perhaps, when the right time comes, there will be the opportunity to grow in that completion when two becomes one. My encouragement to all is to build on that Oneness so we are whole and focused and complete on our own and then we will be ready for the next step.
This "Oneness" is particularly precious to me as my Chinese name given to me by my parents literally translates from the word One Heart (Yi Xin). Together with my sister’s name that translates from the word One Mind (Yi Yi) or One Intention, I think our parents want us to learn to have undivided devotion in our lives and in the work we choose to pursue, so we can overcome and triumph with our single hearted devotion and laser sharp purpose and focused intentions. I am forever grateful for a name that guides me when the world around constantly challenges me from different directions!
So when I am distracted and discouraged, I remind myself to focus, to be committed and devoted at working at what's within my control and move right on. And wouldn't you know, somehow, a path will be opened up for me, the next step will light up!
Single moms, do not lose heart! Keep the focus, stay on target with your commitment and determination and you will make it to the finishing line! Embrace the word "single", it is a beautiful word and enjoy raising your children with your focused intentions!
From One Heart
[…] I may have shared on another post that my Chinese name is Yi Xin (一心). It literally means One Heart in the Chinese Language. Mom and Dad must have wanted me to be single-heartedly focused in all that […]
RT @CoachLouisa: Single Hearted Devotion http://bit.ly/8hlWUq
Thank you for allowing me to speak my mind. Yes, I am a single mom. I became very sensitive when I hear of people talking about my do’s & where abouts I become very offended. Especially if I know I am doing my best not to inconvenience anyone, if I could try and do things myself. I have a beautiful daughter of 8. Seperated with the biological father-figure when shen was at a very young age. She practically grew up, knowing that there is no father figure in her life. She makes me so proud. Excells in school. Very good-mannered, but due to the fact that I became a very time concerned person, which turned out for me to also become short tempered, it rubbed down on her and became a part of a short tempered personality. Yes, she is stubborn, just like Mommy. I don’t feel comfortable socialising with people as it feels as if they want to know too much about me. IU am a very private person. I received alot of critisizm at the time I fell pregnant tto date. I have an extremely low self-exsteem, though I exel in all expectations as a Mommy. I adopted a personality to remain calm, most of the time, with the hope to inspire Ilva to become a calm young lady. I feel that there is a lack of full family balance, due to a missing father-figurre. I just don’t know how to become happy and fulfilled, without feeling that people asking too many questions… How do I heal myself, not thinking of huge expenses? We live according to a very tight budget and basic lifestyle..
Dear Yolandi,
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your openness and your trust.
I must say that you have accomplished much by bringing up a beautiful, well mannered 8-year-old who makes you so proud of her! Congratulations!
There are things less beautiful around us and I am glad you choose to remain calm among the noise.
You ask some tough questions, and I like to get on the phone with you if you are open to a conversation. I have just sent out an invitation for a 15 minutes connection-with-you call, just reply yes and pick a time slot and we can have a closer look at this.
In the mean time, you can begin your journey of happiness and fulfillment by asking what it is that you want, and how you will work towards that. You really have no time nor energy to think of what others want or think of you – too much on your hands already, don’t you think?
You can and will heal. The inner journey has already began. Let’s talk.
Take care of yourself and abundance to you and the young lady!
Louisa
A lot of wise concepts, enough to chew on for a couple of days. Thank you for giving new insights and challenging old perceptions.
An encouraging piece of ‘words’ for the single Mums, I’ll pass it on to as many of my friends as possible. Keep it up, One Heart….
I love reading your posts…..thanks for the encouragement and perspective!