I have been thinking of the word single lately especially now that I am meeting single moms. What comes to mind when we think of the word single?
Dictionary has it as: 1) one in number 2) unaccompanied, on its own 3) distinguish and distinct 4) set apart and separate from others 5) wholly attentive
Nothing here refers to one as being weak, incomplete or lacking. Instead what I see is one of distinction, or being set apart and standing out. In fact in the Chinese language, “one” certainly has the meaning of being focus and wholly attentive.
We have a saying in the Chinese language that directly transliterates from the word “One Heart and One Mind”. In simple Chinese language that means “being single heartedly focus with laser sharp intention – that’s how powerful it can be! That can shed much new light on the word “single”.
"One" is a beautiful word. It is simple, it is whole, complete, distinguished and it stands out, it fact it can also mean the first. And when the one person who is complete and whole is complemented with another whole and complete person, we get great synergies, dynamics and camaraderie. However, if the one is incomplete and seeks for completion in the other person, then I am afraid there will be imbalance and the entire structure will not be strong.
My message to the single moms is that you are complete, you are whole, you can be powerful and focus and intent in your purpose of raising a healthy and happy family. There will be barriers and road blocks and challenges yet, with your powerful intent and focus, you will be surprised at how far you can go. And perhaps, when the right time comes, there will be the opportunity to grow in that completion when two becomes one. My encouragement to all is to build on that Oneness so we are whole and focused and complete on our own and then we will be ready for the next step.
This "Oneness" is particularly precious to me as my Chinese name given to me by my parents literally translates from the word One Heart (Yi Xin). Together with my sister’s name that translates from the word One Mind (Yi Yi) or One Intention, I think our parents want us to learn to have undivided devotion in our lives and in the work we choose to pursue, so we can overcome and triumph with our single hearted devotion and laser sharp purpose and focused intentions. I am forever grateful for a name that guides me when the world around constantly challenges me from different directions!
So when I am distracted and discouraged, I remind myself to focus, to be committed and devoted at working at what's within my control and move right on. And wouldn't you know, somehow, a path will be opened up for me, the next step will light up!
Single moms, do not lose heart! Keep the focus, stay on target with your commitment and determination and you will make it to the finishing line! Embrace the word "single", it is a beautiful word and enjoy raising your children with your focused intentions!
From One Heart